Treat yo Self!

I have a fascination with Parks and Rec lately. My husband started to watch it and I was hooked. We finished our binge and I could probably re-watch it tomorrow and still find it funny. I am not normally one to binge watch shows without my husband. Actually I probably only watch TV when my honey bunch is home.

Well any ways, one of my favorite ideals I took from watching Parks and Rec is Donna Meagel’s and Tom Haverford’s Treat Yo’ Self Day! Seriously GENIUS! I mean what better kind of day?

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For those of you who aren’t familiar, you gotta watch it!

Treat yo’ Self day is a day that you get yourself whatever you desire! A day where you don’t even think about anyone but yourself. Selfish? HELL NO!

Look I spend my days with four minions constantly on my tail. Although I created those minions and yes I absolutely adore them, I think a day just for mama to do whatever, buy whatever, go where ever, and eat whatever (without swapping spit) is perfectly ok!

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I think this year I am gonna set money aside so I can have my self the biggest TREAT Yo’ Self Day. I will build myself a list and do it all.

 

My Treat Yo’ Self List

Watch the Sunrise

Massage

Facial

TONS of Boutique shopping

Makeup shopping

Salt water Jacuzzi

Grab Coffee

Sit by a lake and read or draw

Get myself New boots

Hike

Fish

Seriously I could go on and on! I need like 2 Treat Yo’ self days or maybe even a Treat yo’ Self weekend! One has to be for all the shopping and stuff and the other for an Outdoor adventure palooza! Hiking, fishing, swimming, and shooting, the works!

I don’t think it is selfish to have a treat yourself day. I think that we actually all need that especially mamas! We spend an incredible amount of time investing and advocating for our children and family that we forget to take care of ourselves! We become run down and tired it just makes since to me that we really take at least one day a year to pour every thing we have into ourselves.

What would be on your Treat yo’ Self list? Tell me!

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Kickin’ It

Cheyenne has been a blessing for us. Such amazing programs and resources for Autism and special needs. Since Raylan started school in January at STRIDE learning center, we have been more involved with programs that will help our family grow.

Tonight was the beginning probably one of my favorite programs so far, Adaptive Soccer. Adaptive soccer is geared for children with disabilities. This particular program was started about 25 years ago in Cheyenne by a group of Children’s OT and PT therapist and is FREE! Each kid receives an Adidas Soccer jersey and a water bottle. Each child is paired with a buddy that will help them with learning soccer. Each buddy is picked for kids based on that child’s particular need. Some of the buddy volunteers are high schoolers and some are therapist. There are different groups for teams based on needs and age. But the absolute best part about this program is siblings are included in the soccer practices and games. Some times it can be hard on our other kids that Raylan requires so much more attention and care, so having a program that includes them and can help teach them the importance of teaching and accepting is amazing!

Raylan’s buddy was a perfect match! He was paired with a pediatric physical therapist. Raylan struggles with balance and coordination. I told her of his struggles and his battle with tremors ants she understood my concerns. She then assured me that no matter how much “soccer” he really does or learns, he still will benefit from playing on the field.

My kid’s ran all over that field and had so much fun! I cannot wait until next weeks!

Thankful for the Tribe

there are four of them and ONE of me!
“Oh you just have to….”, “Maybe you should…”, “You need to….”

Seriously just put a sock in it y’all

Wyatt is missing a sock, Raylan’s hair needs brushed, Jaydon probably didn’t shower today, Cheyenne is well a “fashion diva” as in nothing matches, and mama is about 3 liters and an IV drip shy of enough caffeine to keep up with it all.

Most days it is a struggle and I often feel like a failure. Over the last year I kept reaching out to my friend who also is a mama of four and hers are all boys. Like me she is an Autism mom. She had been dealing with it for a bit longer than I, so every-time I was lost or upset I reached out to Lena (lay-nuh) 😉 and asked for help or just for her to listen to me complain. She’d always tell me don’t waste my time on people who aren’t worth it, don’t listen to the negatives, or even that people think they know it all, but they don’t, and most of all find my tribe.

For a while I struggled and I tried, but everyone seemed to come up short, we just did not mesh well, they really didn’t understand life with multiples or a special needs kid. Life can be different and challenging with Autism, so finding other parents or even friends who aren’t parents that are open to learn or have first hand experience with autism can be grueling.

The year leading up to Raylan’s diagnosis was dreadful and heart wrenching at times. I felt incredibly alone, stressed out, and both mentally and physically exhausted. Raylan never slept and I had a newborn baby. There were days I just never thought I would make it through. Days when both boys would cry and I would sit with tears in my eyes too. I was constantly hearing everyone’s opinions and everyone’s advice. People can be real assholes you know. Telling me what to do, but no one was here to help me. Or telling me I use my kids for an excuse….

NEWS FLASH MY KIDS ARE MOST LIKELY ALWAYS MY EXCUSE, there are four of them and ONE of me!

“Oh you just have to….”, “Maybe you should…”, “You need to….”

Seriously just put a sock in it y’all! No one really knew exactly what to say or do they just wanted to fix my kids and my situation. No one really wanted to just be there, It wasn’t until I started to really focus on figuring out how to do life with 4 kids and one who is Autistic, that I shut everyone down. I became exhausted with opinions and eventually they just went in one ear and right out the other. I had to do what I thought was right for my kiddos. I had to find my tribe.

I have a lot of “support” on facebook, but not enough actual real life connections. That’s what a tribe is though. I needed real life relationships with people that either understand or wanna understand. You cannot build connections with people who don’t want to have a true connection and you cannot force friendships.

I wasn’t looking for just other moms who had four kids or even other moms who have special needs kids. I was looking for friends who get it. You know friends who if I call saying “I have no idea how I am supposed to make it today, Wyatt just painted my walls in finger paint made from crap. I haven’t showered in 3 days and I smell like a swamp creature!” Will return by saying ” I get it girl, it is OK we can reschedule” and truly mean it in the most sincere way. Friends who if I fall off the map for weeks at a time will not let me go alone. They will message me to make sure my kids have not suffocated me or that I haven’t fallen into a black hole. I needed true friends who weren’t trying to just fix me or my kids, but really stuck by my side even on the bad days.

Y’all, I cannot tell you how important having a true and tested tribe is. Now days friends and family are many behind a computer screen. A tribe though, is bonded with understanding and unconditional love. I am proud to say I have found my tribe this past year. Some of the people in my tribe haven’t even met one another, but have proven that if tested they will pull together if I need them too. I have moms in my tribe from Raylan’s school who really get it and haven’t even known me long, but have literally jumped with out hesitation to help me. I have members of my tribe who don’t even have kids, but if I tell them I need a moment or I am going to loose it, they are at my front door as soon as I hang up.

My tribe is made up of many people, from many walks of life, but they all support me and I will support them.

THEY CHALLENGE YOUTHEY BREAK YOU OPENTHEY UPLIFT YOUTHESE HEARTBEATS ARE YOUR PEOPLETHESE PEOPLE ARE YOUR TRIBE

3AM Bubbles

As I laid in my bed half asleep, he put a cup in my hand. Being only a quarter awake I crawled out of bed as he took me by the hand.

This morning was probably the 1000th time Raylan woke up at 3 AM just ready to take on life.

As I laid in my bed half asleep, he put a cup in my hand. Being only a quarter awake I crawled out of bed as he took me by the hand. He led me into the kitchen and showed me the fridge. Unwillingly I opened the fridge and his little face lit up as I grabbed the milk and he burst with giggles. I melted.

Here I am exhausted and I should be frustrated, but by now I am used to it. I hand him the glass of milk so he takes a sip. As I turned around to put the jug back in the fridge I hear the sound of liquid spilling out. Raylan poured all the milk down the kitchen sink. He decided thats not what he wanted, he wants the juice on the counter. I sighed and put just a little juice in his cup. He laughed and began to try and jump with excitement. Little man really wanted that juice.

He then began to blow bubbles into his cup which was exciting for both him and I. Yes its 3 am, I’m absolutely tired, why in the world am I excited about the fact he is making noises or a mess by blowing bubbles into his cup?

Here’s why. When Raylan starts to form new sounds with his lips that is cause for celebration. Every little move that his lips and mouth learn, helps us in the uphill battle of him one day speaking.

Raylan is 3 1/2 and has never said a word audibly and has never babbled. We’ve yet to hear what his little voice sounds like. He doesn’t mimic nor try to form words, he is just quiet. When Raylan needs something, he often leads us to what he needs. Recently he started to bring you a cup if he is thirsty.

So yes bubbles at 3 AM was exciting and I never even tried to discourage it. I just laughed with him. We smiled and he requested more juice. I quietly gave it to him and waited. He once again began to blow bubbles. That sensation of moving his lips is an exciting accomplishment. So I just sit back and wait until he’s done. He hands me his cup in request for more, but this time I gave him water. He dumped it down the drain. I grabbed his little hand and we both walked out of the kitchen. He wasn’t quiet ready for bed again so we played a bit longer. I should be begging him to let me sleep, but I would wake up all over again just to see that giggle after he blows bubbles in his cup.

– Mickey