A couple days ago I posted on my Facebook page an image from the past and an image from the now. I had a tremendous amount of feedback from this post. Several people told me that it hit a spot right in the feels for them. Now here I am to make you have even more feels.
We all have something we are holding onto from our past that absolutely forbids us moving forward. It could be your high school jeans, your pre-pregnancy clothes, your accomplishments in college, or unaccomplished goals. What ever it may be, you cling to it. You have tunnel vision around what used to be, you can taste that victory, or you stare at those jeans in your closet. You don’t realize that not letting go, only prevents you from loving yourself where you’re at and moving on.
This is in every aspect of our lives. Postpartum, after graduation, our marriage, our relationships, and our career.
Self love isn’t about vanity, accomplishments, or even goals. Self love and self care is about loving yourself in the moment. Truly being proud of who you are and leaving the old you in the past.
There once was a mom of two who lost a ton of weight. That mom of two went on to become one of the top trainers in her company.
Now fast forward a couple years, mom of two is pregnant again and excited to bring twins into the world. Mom of two loses twins, she is now a mom of two living and two heavenly babies. Mom tries again to get pregnant, is incredibly safe, still teaches group classes. Mom delivers baby healthy and full term. But Mom has gained 20 lbs with pregnancy and post partum even with teaching classes.
Fast forward mom losses two more babies to miscarriage. Mom finally delivers her fourth living baby full term. Mom has gained 40 lbs. Mom pushes to get back to were she was. She wakes up and is frustrated with her body. Mom gets really sick and gets diagnosed with a chronic illness. She begins to hate her self, because if she’d only been able to maintain a healthy weight she wouldn’t be sick. She looks in the mirror, she’s disgusted, she’s angry, and she’s lost.
She was searching for the mom two and the trainer she. That mom of two was long gone. She’s now a mom of four. Fighting for what used to be she loses sight of what is. In every moment she has focused on what used to be, she becomes more resentful to herself. Anxiety and depression are now in control. Her world is spinning out of control, she loses her grip, and plumets to the ground.
That mom is me.
When we focus on the past, we hinder the future. For so long I focused on getting back to the body I loved that I neglected the body that has gone to war for me. I lost sight of my strength and my beauty. I lost sight of the mom I was supposed to be for my children. My children want a mom to enjoy their days with them, not a miserable one thinking about how things were before she had kids.
Stop focusing on what you were like before kids, if you were supposed to be who you were before kids you wouldn’t have become a mother to begin with.
Self love isn’t about vanity, accomplishments, or even goals. Self love and self care is about loving yourself in the moment. Truly being proud of who you are and leaving the old you in the past. It’s about losing and having the respect to shake hands and move on.
“The road ahead is not always easy, but lock your eyes on what is, what will be, and leave what was for what is.”