Facing a Giant

It was a Tuesday and I had an appointment that would change my next few months. I had been experiencing piercing pains during my menstrual cycle for nearly most my life, why would I be concerned. What news could they share with me that I couldn’t deal with. Everything up until this point has just been “cycle” pain. It came one time a month and I dealt with the pain in the moment with exercise and Tylenol. It lasted about a week and a half and it was gone until the next cycle.

Shortly after Wyatt was born my cramps became more like stabbing. It doubled me over and some days I was in so much pain that everyone I talked to knew I was not my normal self. My endocrinology Dr thought once we figured out my thyroid medication dosage that maybe my cycle would calm down, but it didn’t it just kept getting worse. So I was referred for an ultrasound of my ovaries and uterine wall. My biggest fear was that maybe somehow I was miscarrying a missed pregnancy, but that was highly unlikely we can’t get pregnant anymore. That’s the only thing that could explain the pain and spotting I had.

As I was having the ultrasound I watched the sonographer measure all kind of things including blood flow in my uterus and my ovaries. When she was done, with a smile she said “Ok I’ll get these results read and visit with your doctor, if you’ll wait in the waiting room it won’t be long”. I wasn’t concerned, until a few minutes turned into 40 minutes in the waiting room.

When I was called back I was in an office not a exam room. There I was with my two boys in an office for results. I had been here before. That’s right, when we were losing our twins the doctor met us in an office to tell us that our twins were not going to make it. I felt the pain of that conversation come flushing through my memory. Panic was setting in, I couldn’t breath. Something was not right, why was I here instead of an exam room?

Answers soon came. The doctor walked in, we shook hands, and he motioned for me to take a seat. “Mickey, this isn’t easy for me to tell you, but you have what seems to be a tumor in your right ovary that is rather large and it needs to be removed. I also need to tell you that you have extensive uterine muscle damage, it is called Adenomyosis, most of the time it goes away with menopause, but you’re still nearly 15-20 years away from that. This is what is causing all your pain. Your uterus will also need removed.”

His words hit me like a 10 ton brick. I had a lump in my throat and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. He handed me a tissue. “I am sorry to have to deliver that news to you, I can’t even pretend to understand. Were you planning on having any more children? We have to put you on medicine before we operate” I just shook my head to say no, I didn’t want to upset the boys with my tearful voice. I gathered myself smiled ” Thank you for finding out what causing the pain, I’m ready for it to be over so please just let me know what to do.”

He told me they’d like to start me on antibiotics combat any infection that may have settled in since I had been experiencing this pain for so long. He also explained that he would leave my left ovary so I wouldn’t need excessive hormone replacement. I finished up the needed scheduling and packed up the boys to leave.

Saturday came and I was unraveling. Every little thing irritated me, every thought was just darkened with doubt and negativity. I couldn’t understand why everything just keeps hitting our family.

Why am I not even thirty yet and facing a hysterectomy?
Why has my body created life, but also seems to take it?

I don’t know the answers to either of those, but prayers is all I know to do.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

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An open letter to Justin Timberlake

Dear Justin,

My name is Mickey. I am a mother of 4 and I grew up in the era of N’sync and Backstreet Boys. I’m sorry you weren’t my number one pick then, but now you are my hero. Not because of the boyish charm of n’sync or your ongoing success as an individual, but because you’ve helped me discover a new world without even knowing.

This is Raylan, he is almost 4 years old. Raylan is a very special sweet boy and he never speaks a word. He is non verbal autistic, epileptic, and has SYNGAP1 intellectual disability.

Since Raylan is non verbal we have been working on a form of communication for 2.5 years. Sign language was not successful because not have the motor skills or the strength in his hand to develop the signs. So he communicates using PECs and we had given up on sign. We as a family began to focus on him using pictures for communication. We still signed as we spoke feeling that maybe just maybe one day he’d be able to understand and use sign himself.

Raylan discovered the movie Trolls in July of 2018 and it is now December 2018 and our family has every word memorized. He loves Trolls! So much to the point he used his very FIRST sign to ask for “more Trolls”. Raylan will hand you the remote and sign “more” to ask that you throw on Trolls for him. This is huge as we have NEVER seen him this enthusiastic about anything besides playing in water.

Sometimes Raylan struggles to sleep at night so him and I will sit in the rocking chair watching Trolls. It soothes him in ways that we can’t. The bright colors and cheery music have brought my little boy to life and brought expressions to his face we have never seen before.

He loves the scene where King Gristle is working out and the trolls are being chased. He laughs and jumps all through that scene.

My favorite is his reaction when Branch sings to Poppy. He pays attention very intently. Raylan sees the raw emotion in that scene and you can see it in his eyes, he understands.

Thank you and the entire Trolls cast for giving our boy something to soothe and make his day

-Mickey, proud mama of this sweet boy!

Scrunch Butt Gym leggings

I am a little obsessed when it comes to workout wear and I have been since I became a personal trainer in 2011. The new trend is leggings with “scrunch” butt or the technical term ruched leggings. I looked online for these super cute leggings and could not find any that I was comfortable buying. The ones I found were a small fortune and I wasn’t sure if they would even fit right. So I decided to make my own.

It wasn’t that hard for me because sewing is like my thing. But the easiest way to make them is to sew elastic into the seam of a pair of leggings you already own. Or you can 100% make them from a pattern and just add stretched elastic to the rump seam.

The pattern that I choose to use was the Patterns for Pirates peg leg pattern, you can find all sorts of hacks for this pattern on their very own website here. I cut everything out as normal and before I put my waist band on (double in width for high waist) I sewed a piece of elastic in to the rump. The elastic measured 2 inches shorter that the rump seam and I stretched it along the seam so it was perfect length. I will post a video in more detail of they DIY soon.

For the matching bra I used the Brazi pattern for the cross Brazi. This pattern is found here.

Material is from Joann fabrics and can be found here.

29 Days Of Halloween Tutorials

I’m just a small town country girl sooo loves makeup and costuming! What better time of year to do a series on costume makeup looks than Halloween!?

The series will costume looks I have completed before and some I’m trying for the first time. This is a challenge for me to really practice my skills.

Looks will be Makeup and Hair only no costumes.

  1. Egyptian eyes
  2. Roman Empress
  3. Lumber jack
  4. Porcelain doll
  5. Mermaid
  6. Kangaroo
  7. Fawn
  8. Fairy
  9. Sugar skull
  10. Raggedy Ann
  11. Amazon warrior
  12. Scarecrow
  13. Puppet
  14. Pop Art/Comic Art
  15. Cheetah
  16. Pirate
  17. Cat Woman
  18. lagertha or Viking
  19. Giraffe
  20. Jack O Latern
  21. Lion
  22. Elf
  23. Poppy
  24. Dracula
  25. Galaxy
  26. Ice Queen
  27. Frankenstein
  28. Poison Ivy
  29. Camo

Final Surprise look will be my Halloween costume! I am beyond excited to share with everyone!

Here are some looks I have done in the past. I will recreate each look. Lets see how much my skills have changed!

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Moda Mythical Brush Set Review

I had not bought new makeup brushes in nearly 10 years. I was still using my makeup brushes from cosmetology school in 2009 (YIKES). My brush hairs were falling everywhere and stained from my makeup over the years. Consequently, I went on a search for some beautiful Unicorn makeup brushes to finish my Unicorn vanity space. I knew I saw them online, but I also remembered seeing them in a store. I started at Ross with the luck of finding a couple pretty brushes, but no unicorn. Then I moved on to target, TJ Maxx, and last Walmart. Behold there they were in the makeup section at Walmart. The beautiful unicorn brushes my heart so desired! You could say I am a little obsessed with unicorns, because I kind of am. Which is great right now because they can be found EVERY where.

So what do I have to say about them? Well for starters they are every bit of beautiful and vibrant colors with a metallic finish they are great for vanity display. They are 100% Vegan and have brightly colored synthetic fibers. Each Brush is labeled with what it is for.

  • Blush:
    The blush brush is very loose bristles. Depending on the look you are completing it could be good or bad. I may just need to get used to it, as the old brushes I had were a little more firm. The bristles are amazingly soft and feel great on your skin.
  • Complexion:
    Despite the fact that the complexion brush does not have as tightly packed bristles as I would like, it still gets the job done. Even though it does take a little more work, I appreciate the look I can achieve with this brush.
  • Domed Shadow:
    I do like the domed eye brush. When it comes to eye brushes I like to have a lot of different options depending on the eye look I am completing. With soft bristles it is very easy on my eyelids while delivering a good amount of shadow.
  • Crease:
    While the crease brush is not my favorite crease brush, it does do well for all over eye color. It just has a lot of play in the bristles and I like precise crease brushes. I still prefer my Morphe brush.
  • Angle Eyeliner:
    I love this brush! I really do!! I use it for my glitter applications. It is pretty precise and does not have a lot of give in the bristles. It is perfect for perfecting lines!

I actually bought 2 packs of these brushes just so I would have a couple of each eye brush. I believe for the price of $16.84 these brushes do a great job. I have not washed them just yet, but I will edit and add how the washing process goes, a little later now.

Find these brushes here

-Mickey

“Uniquely Human- A Different Way of Seeing Autism” Book Review

Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism

By Barry M Prizant PhD

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I set out to find answers on google and found nothing, but frustration. My son was diagnosed with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) in Fall of 2017. Although I knew the diagnosis was coming, I was still at a loss for what was yet to come.

“How do I make sure we are doing everything we can to make sure he succeeds?” This question was always afloat in my mind. January of 2018, Raylan started school in hopes to seek out the early intervention he was in dire need of. Shortly after, Raylan started school, a parent recommended this book to me. The parent raved about how it had made things so much clearer and helped them understand more. I was reluctant to really dive in and read it. I was still adjusting to my son’s new diagnosis, our life with IEP’s, and our other 3 children. I was not ready to read a book that would blatantly tell me something I already knew.

However, once I picked it up I could not put it down. I started to read it as a paperback. When we had to travel to IL, as I drove I listened to every single chapter by audiobooks. On the return trip, I listened to every single chapter a second time. I put book marks in my paperback and reread the sections I had book marked in the Audible book. This book changed my life, my thought process, and made me even more proud to be a mom of a child with Autism.

There’s one topic the author covers in this book which made me take a step back… as ever work with your child. The author mentions that we are the professionals when it comes to our children, that it is perfectly normal for us to stand up for them and say, “no” when we deem necessary. This was something I struggled with. I as a mama am an advocate for my kids. I will argue, stand up, and not back down until I am certain my kids are taken care of in the way that is right. When it came to Raylan’s, medical I would argue tooth and nail when I knew what was right and wrong. I fired a couple therapists! I was that mama who rattled everyone’s cage if I thought they were treating Raylan, wrong. Some people would say that is not OK, because doctors/therapist are the professionals, but not this author. And not I. In Uniquely Human, there is an entire chapter about parents being the professional when it comes to their children. This was affirming to me that all those times I didn’t back down, I was doing the right thing. Many things that the author wrote about in Uniquely Human, is incredibly eye opening and made complete sense to me. Raylan is indeed Uniquely Human. The title of this book was perfect!

While reading this book it was more than I ever could have expected. The author is well versed and knowledgeable in ASD, he writes from a professional as well as a personal viewpoint. He has a personal connection when he writes with individuals with ASD such as Temple Grandin. He shares stories of parents and teachers who work with ASD, making it easy for the reader to connect on a personal level. Many instances written about in the book, I have experienced myself.

If you have a child with Autism, are working with children that have Autism or you are just interested in learning about kids with Autism, I highly recommend this book. It was eye opening for me and I hope it will be for you.

– Mickey

Laredo Miss Kate Boots Review

I’m here to be honest. I am in love with these beautiful sniptoe¬†Laredo Miss Kate boots, in fact so much I’m on my second pair in 2 years. That’s right my second pair. I bought my first pair summer 2016. I wore them until I couldn’t anymore. I could’ve resoled them, but the leather was actually tearing on both right and left vamp of the boot. It was really strange because they tore in the same spot. Just looked like someone slit it with a knife on each boot. However I still loved them. I wore them pretty much everyday for 2 years, until the sole was completely shot.

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So my husband ordered another pair in a 7.5. He was hoping that the reason behind the tear was because my 7 were a tad snug. The 7.5 fit like a dream and I love them even better than the pair of 7. The reason I love these boots is comfort, fashion, and temperature. My feet never hurt in them. I could stand on my feet for an entire 8 hour shift and my feet never even bothered me. They have a composition sole on them which makes wearing them comfortable.

There isn’t too much I can’t pair with these boots! They are so versatile and match just about everything. I wear them with pants, skirts, shorts, really everything! The colors are perfectly simple and beautiful.

My feet never became to hot or cold. I live in Wyoming, where you can never trust the weather man. No matter if it was hot or cold, my feet never felt uncomfortable. They have some kind of microfiber material lining the inside. This material is designed to wick away moisture and keep your feet dry.

Let’s talk price. Well I believe for as much as wore them and how hard I was on them $150 was an extremely fair price. Especially since I know they will last me a long while. Laredo Boots is a part of Dan Post boot company and Dan Post actually has a pair almost very similar to them for $275 and those can be found here if you are looking for a higher quality boot.