Focus on Improvement, not perfection.

It was October 2011 and I had lost 80lbs. That’s why I became a trainer…. Not. I became a trainer because I wanted to help people have a better chance at life, I wanted to show them what life without pain was like, I wanted to show them their body can work for them not against them.

2004 my life was turned upside down by a drunk driver (which I write about a lot) Every thing in my life as an adult some how points back to that night. I spent several months in the hospital relearning how to walk and how to talk. I was on both sides of the scale weighing an unhealthy 80lbs my freshman year and then 205lbs at 5ft 4in after two pregnancies.

I was 21 when the decision to become a Corrective Exercise Specialist and Personal Trainer became my dream and passion. I began to crack open the books and study hard. This helped me in my own health and fitness journey. The more I studied the more Passionate I became.

As my journey in my studies progressed and I got closer to testing the hunt for a job was on. When I tested and passed, I quickly secured a job at American Family Fitness in Williamsburg, Virginia. Here is where my career began. I quickly excelled to a tier two trainer and trained 35+ hours a week. I began to teach seminars to local schools, about preventing sports related injuries.

I absolutely loved my job, so I decided to try it out as my own boss and open a personal training studio August 5th,2013. My studio received a Best of Williamsburg award for recovery and functional training within my first 6 months of opening.

When we received orders 2014 back to Wyoming, my studio was closed down. We also just had baby Raylan. Raylan was about 9 months old when I secured a job at Gold’s Gym in Cheyenne. I loved working at Gold’s, but it came to a halt as I was a high risk pregnancy with baby Wyatt summer of 2016. I had hopes to return back to work after he was born, but life just kept swinging.

I now had a newborn and a 2 1/2 year old that was diagnosed with Autism and global development delay, epilepsy, and later with a diagnosis in December 2018 with SYNGAP1 intellectual disability. My life was about to change. I had uncertainty about being able to juggle personal training schedule and my son’s needs. So I stepped back, from training. That’s what my family needed right?

Boy was I ever wrong. Children with SYNGAP1 intellectual disability struggle with quality movements everyday. Raylan was in physical, occupational, and speech therapy 5 days a week. Further more epilepsy causes your muscles to contract and relax or uncontrollable jerking movements. That is not good on your muscular system. This can cause tightness or loss of muscle tone, which increases the risk of injury.

I thought I was stepping away to help Raylan succeed in his therapy, but by stepping away from training I was doing him a disservice. Knowing musculature and anatomy I could be the ultimate voice for Raylan. I could reinforce what the therapist worked on in clinic, right in our own home. Therapist explain something and I understand exactly what they mean. I could agree or disagree, because I know how your body is supposed to moved as an integrated system.

I began my journey as a trainer not to help people only lose weight, but to help them move better. Now I face the challenge everyday to help Raylan lead a life with functional movements. So here I am once again diving into books to help others, to push them, focus on improvement everyday. I plan to start working as a trainer and a corrective exercise specialist in Cheyenne Wyoming withing the year.


Scrunch Butt Gym leggings

I am a little obsessed when it comes to workout wear and I have been since I became a personal trainer in 2011. The new trend is leggings with “scrunch” butt or the technical term ruched leggings. I looked online for these super cute leggings and could not find any that I was comfortable buying. The ones I found were a small fortune and I wasn’t sure if they would even fit right. So I decided to make my own.

It wasn’t that hard for me because sewing is like my thing. But the easiest way to make them is to sew elastic into the seam of a pair of leggings you already own. Or you can 100% make them from a pattern and just add stretched elastic to the rump seam.

The pattern that I choose to use was the Patterns for Pirates peg leg pattern, you can find all sorts of hacks for this pattern on their very own website here. I cut everything out as normal and before I put my waist band on (double in width for high waist) I sewed a piece of elastic in to the rump. The elastic measured 2 inches shorter that the rump seam and I stretched it along the seam so it was perfect length. I will post a video in more detail of they DIY soon.

For the matching bra I used the Brazi pattern for the cross Brazi. This pattern is found here.

Material is from Joann fabrics and can be found here.

Tacos and Toddlers

Sitting in my son’s school parking lot at least 15 minutes after drop off, trying to decide if I should hit the gym or just go home. After being up and down most the night with the boys I’m struggling so hard to keep my mind on going to the gym.

Truth be told if someone would’ve told me in 10 years I’d be walking out of the house no makeup, one armpit shaved, and no deodorant; I would hysterically laugh at them. Now here I am just struggling to decide on taking my mama hips to the gym and at least get on the Arc trainer for even 15 minutes.

15 minutes pass and I decided to put the van in reverse and driving to the gym. I am trying so hard to remember that I forgot something at home, but nothing is missing. Golds gym is literally a block from my house, I could just say I got an important call and drive home. It doesn’t happen. I pulled in the parking lot and it is practically empty, its mid week so a lot of people have fallen off the Monday new years wagon. Let’s face it Monday is like new years every week. “This is my week y’all, my diet starts now, my workouts start now. ” Wednesday comes and people have fallen off their routine, but next Monday, Monday ya’ll!

I start to take Wyatt out of his seat and he is normally telling me “Nooooo”. Well not today y’all. He grabs his backpack puts it on grabs my hand and walks by my side right on in. “Well damn, maybe just maybe kids club will be at capacity” I think to my self. Nope! Keep on going. “Maybe Wyatt will protest like he nornally does” bahaha funny story he walked right in.

“Well, shit. Here I go” I paid for this fall fit challenge I have to use the gym and actually put effort into working out.

Walk all the way to the locker rooms and hope kid’s club will come get me for Wyatt cause he’s crying. Y’all if you can’t tell I’m dreading this workout cause I’m so tired.

Alright put on the damn tennis shoes, get your headphones in, go pee, let’s do this. Sit in sauna and just relax think about what the dinner schedule is for the night.

Oh shit, its taco night! I love taco night!! Its my favorite night of the week and these hips don’t lie. I have to work out!!

29 Days Of Halloween Tutorials

I’m just a small town country girl sooo loves makeup and costuming! What better time of year to do a series on costume makeup looks than Halloween!?

The series will costume looks I have completed before and some I’m trying for the first time. This is a challenge for me to really practice my skills.

Looks will be Makeup and Hair only no costumes.

  1. Egyptian eyes
  2. Roman Empress
  3. Lumber jack
  4. Porcelain doll
  5. Mermaid
  6. Kangaroo
  7. Fawn
  8. Fairy
  9. Sugar skull
  10. Raggedy Ann
  11. Amazon warrior
  12. Scarecrow
  13. Puppet
  14. Pop Art/Comic Art
  15. Cheetah
  16. Pirate
  17. Cat Woman
  18. lagertha or Viking
  19. Giraffe
  20. Jack O Latern
  21. Lion
  22. Elf
  23. Poppy
  24. Dracula
  25. Galaxy
  26. Ice Queen
  27. Frankenstein
  28. Poison Ivy
  29. Camo

Final Surprise look will be my Halloween costume! I am beyond excited to share with everyone!

Here are some looks I have done in the past. I will recreate each look. Lets see how much my skills have changed!

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Moda Mythical Brush Set Review

I had not bought new makeup brushes in nearly 10 years. I was still using my makeup brushes from cosmetology school in 2009 (YIKES). My brush hairs were falling everywhere and stained from my makeup over the years. Consequently, I went on a search for some beautiful Unicorn makeup brushes to finish my Unicorn vanity space. I knew I saw them online, but I also remembered seeing them in a store. I started at Ross with the luck of finding a couple pretty brushes, but no unicorn. Then I moved on to target, TJ Maxx, and last Walmart. Behold there they were in the makeup section at Walmart. The beautiful unicorn brushes my heart so desired! You could say I am a little obsessed with unicorns, because I kind of am. Which is great right now because they can be found EVERY where.

So what do I have to say about them? Well for starters they are every bit of beautiful and vibrant colors with a metallic finish they are great for vanity display. They are 100% Vegan and have brightly colored synthetic fibers. Each Brush is labeled with what it is for.

  • Blush:
    The blush brush is very loose bristles. Depending on the look you are completing it could be good or bad. I may just need to get used to it, as the old brushes I had were a little more firm. The bristles are amazingly soft and feel great on your skin.
  • Complexion:
    Despite the fact that the complexion brush does not have as tightly packed bristles as I would like, it still gets the job done. Even though it does take a little more work, I appreciate the look I can achieve with this brush.
  • Domed Shadow:
    I do like the domed eye brush. When it comes to eye brushes I like to have a lot of different options depending on the eye look I am completing. With soft bristles it is very easy on my eyelids while delivering a good amount of shadow.
  • Crease:
    While the crease brush is not my favorite crease brush, it does do well for all over eye color. It just has a lot of play in the bristles and I like precise crease brushes. I still prefer my Morphe brush.
  • Angle Eyeliner:
    I love this brush! I really do!! I use it for my glitter applications. It is pretty precise and does not have a lot of give in the bristles. It is perfect for perfecting lines!

I actually bought 2 packs of these brushes just so I would have a couple of each eye brush. I believe for the price of $16.84 these brushes do a great job. I have not washed them just yet, but I will edit and add how the washing process goes, a little later now.

Find these brushes here


Mama Lies

7 am and the alarm clock is ringing. By alarm clock I mean Wyatt running down the hall towards me. Cheyenne’s bedroom door opens and shuts. The chaos of the day has just begun and I am no where near ready for it. I roll over and I beg for just a little more rest.

I drag myself into the living room to change Wyatt into a fresh diaper and set up breakfast for him and the older kiddos. “Jay can you watch him while I go lay down with Raylan for a bit?” With out hesitation Jaydon says “Yes mama.” I drag myself into my room and I curl up next to Raylan and I am out faster than light.

Next thing I know Jay comes in and it’s lunch time, Raylan has been up for a couple hours and my big kids have been maintaining the babies while I sleep. I am just so tired, I can’t peel my head from my pillow and I probably couldn’t even sew my eyelids open. I am just so heavy.

They come in “Mommy when you get up can we….” “Yes I promise when I get up just I’m so tired I need to rest a bit”…But the resting doesn’t seem to end. Cheyenne has begged for us to sew, hike, or go to the park and mama keeps saying. “Not today, mama just doesn’t feel good.”

Mama hasn’t “felt” good since May. I have been battling to stay awake and I have been living on Monsters and NOS. Nothing is helping. I lost nearly 13 pounds in 10 days. Granted I was eating healthy when I ate and drinking nearly a Gallon or two a day, but 13 lbs in 10 days no matter how you spin it isn’t healthy for someone of my size.

Since May I have had too many days to count that I stay in bed until my husband is due home around 4:30 PM. I get up make dinner only to go back to sleep by 9. I have spent nearly 12 hours sleeping and still cannot pull myself out of bed without feeling weighed down with exhaustion. I could drink 3 monsters a day, a cup of coffee, and it is no where near enough. When I call the doctor they say that’s not normal and the refer my to yet again another specialist. Its Hashimotos, its fibromyalgia, its auto immune disease, or it could be PCOS. All of which have very similar symptoms, but no one knows exactly what medicines to give me. So they’ve loaded me down with not 1, but 4 new medicines and I cannot tell which is causing which symptom.

I just want to get up clean house, play with my kids, and not struggle to raise my head off my pillow. I want to hike with my kids and my local hiking group, but I am afraid I will not have the energy to get them to the end of the trail.

So mama lies. I lie I feel fine, I lie as I drink the 3rd monster in a row, I lie I am too busy,   I lie I will get up in a minute as I lie in bed struggling to lift up my heavy head.

I am grateful for my kids who may not understand why mama is struggling, but they see it so they let me rest. My heart breaks every time I lay in bed as they play in the living room.

Having hashimotos is a battle that I am not the only one wounded in. Hashimotos effects my entire family. It takes days away from my children, moments, and memories. Many people do not know the amount of control your thyroid has over your body, but here are some of the things controlled by thyroid.

  • Breathing
  • Heart rate
  • Central and peripheral nervous systems
  • Body weight
  • Muscle strength
  • Menstrual cycles
  • Body temperature
  • Cholesterol levels
  • Digestive function
  • Muscle control
  • Brain development
  • Mood
  • Bone maintenance

When my thyroid is out of wack my entire body takes a hit. My kids can tell there is something wrong, my husband knows, and I continue to smile even with the struggle. I eat healthy and it doesn’t seem to matter. I gave 5 years of my life to personal training , health and fitness, but hashimotos did not care. It’s an everyday battle and everyday is different. I could wake up tomorrow and feel rested for the better half of the day, but then the very next day I lie.


I object!

Self image is a battle for me and over the last two years I have discovered how to love my body where it is. Every once in awhile I crash and burn. All to often at the false steering of someone else. We all can say some pretty spicy stuff every now and again, that we may mean to be taken lightly. However, we need to hold our tongues and think before we speak. You never know what someone else is battling. They may be laughing with you masking their struggles, but truth is you will never know. We need to be kind to ourselves. We need to be forgiving with ourselves. And most importantly we need to Love ourselves, no matter what the world says. We were not meant to be identical. We are not meant to be cookie cutters. We are not meant to be perfect.

I struggled many years trying to fit into some one elses idea of perfect. I have then spent years trying to rebuild love for myself after the hurtful words or actions of someone else. My mama used to always tell me that “Hurting people hurt people”. That was her way of helping work through the pain. Most of the time that is true, but I’ve grown to learn people are assholes more often than not.

Actual quotes from people stomping on myself esteem.

“I wish you were a little more feminine” … yeah ok I was 16. Loved fishing, hunting, and dirt biking. I’ve come to the conclusion that this guy’s masculinity was challenged by the fact he couldn’t change a spark plug and I could.

“That hair color just makes you look trashy” … Cool, I thought red was the color I was given as a baby.

“17 and pregnant? You’re a whore”… oh I’m a whore because I decided to own up instead of killing my unborn baby. GO to hell he’s 11 and the best thing that ever happened to me.

Mommy 18yrs and Baby Jaydon 6mo

“You’re a freckled freak”… hey bet you didn’t think in 2018 people would be buying faux freckles as part of their daily makeup.

You see these are comments that have stuck with me all through my life. Each at a different stage of my life and the list goes on. I let people beat me down for years, but I chose to object any negative comments in writing every day. I’ll keep a notebook and everytime someone says something negative about me, I’ll object it with something positive.

Starting with the come back from a lady tonight about my jeans fit. I told her exactly the truth about how jeans fit me. Her response was quick, witty, and unknowingly hurtful…”Well you just don’t have the perfect body”

My Objection:

I’ve had 8 pregnancies, I have 4 children I never had three chance to hold. I have 4 children who walk beside me daily and have yet to meet their siblings. I am a mom, a friend, a wife, and my body has created life.

“If you see something beautiful in someone speak it.” -Ruthie Lindsey