5 Reasons Overwhelmed Moms Don’t Ask for Help

Why don’t you ask for Help? Why didn’t you call me? You should have called me! Sound familar? These are all well known lines that I have heard more times than I’d like to count. Everyone wants to know why I won’t ask for help. Every single mom I have spoke with recently has said that they struggle with asking for help just as much as I do. Why is that? Why do we continue to struggle after we are told to reach out?

  1. We don’t want to be let down.

Let’s be honest, you have offered to help someone or said “call if you need anything” The moment that phone rings and help is requested

we can’t provide the assitance needed. Being a mom I have been there. I have asked for help and been shut down. This makes me nervous to ask for help. I don’t want to be let down by those who have. offered help.

2. Embarrassed!

Society has this man shaming trend. Everyone is a better parent than everyone else.

“What was he doing awake by himself? He doesnt wake you up first?”

“NO Suzy, I let my three year old Run rampid every day of the week and he has to fend for himself.”

Maybe if we stop judging or being condescending to every mom who has a bad day or a parenting mishap there would be more of us who ASK for help.

3. Fear.

This is a big one for me and some people may call me crazy for Feeling this way, however it is 100% Valid! Look at our news headlines now days! I am terrified that others will not accept or understand my children.I am so scared they will not understand or love my Special

special needs son the way our family does and that terrifies me.

4. Guilt.

I hare felt guilty in so many ways. Guilty for leaving my kids behind. Guilty for in convincing some one. Guilty for not being

able to handle it all. Guilty for being tired. We just feel guilty.

5. Weak.

There are many times I have locked myself in my bathroom and cried because I did not want to be seen as weak. When people look at me I don’t want them to think that I wasn’t strong enough to be a mom.

These are very real reasons why we don’t call you. These are the driving force behind our lonely struggles. If you see an

overwhelmed mom and her struggle don’t wait for her to ask for your help, because she never will. When you see that struggle say

“let me help you, what do you need, how can I help you during this time.”

Because you’ll never hear “I need help”

An open letter to Justin Timberlake

Dear Justin,

My name is Mickey. I am a mother of 4 and I grew up in the era of N’sync and Backstreet Boys. I’m sorry you weren’t my number one pick then, but now you are my hero. Not because of the boyish charm of n’sync or your ongoing success as an individual, but because you’ve helped me discover a new world without even knowing.

This is Raylan, he is almost 4 years old. Raylan is a very special sweet boy and he never speaks a word. He is non verbal autistic, epileptic, and has SYNGAP1 intellectual disability.

Since Raylan is non verbal we have been working on a form of communication for 2.5 years. Sign language was not successful because not have the motor skills or the strength in his hand to develop the signs. So he communicates using PECs and we had given up on sign. We as a family began to focus on him using pictures for communication. We still signed as we spoke feeling that maybe just maybe one day he’d be able to understand and use sign himself.

Raylan discovered the movie Trolls in July of 2018 and it is now December 2018 and our family has every word memorized. He loves Trolls! So much to the point he used his very FIRST sign to ask for “more Trolls”. Raylan will hand you the remote and sign “more” to ask that you throw on Trolls for him. This is huge as we have NEVER seen him this enthusiastic about anything besides playing in water.

Sometimes Raylan struggles to sleep at night so him and I will sit in the rocking chair watching Trolls. It soothes him in ways that we can’t. The bright colors and cheery music have brought my little boy to life and brought expressions to his face we have never seen before.

He loves the scene where King Gristle is working out and the trolls are being chased. He laughs and jumps all through that scene.

My favorite is his reaction when Branch sings to Poppy. He pays attention very intently. Raylan sees the raw emotion in that scene and you can see it in his eyes, he understands.

Thank you and the entire Trolls cast for giving our boy something to soothe and make his day

-Mickey, proud mama of this sweet boy!