Against the Ropes

I have learned as a coach and trainer is you have to coach clients past their personal limiters. You have to coach them out of their comfort zones. As a coach you need to listen to their concerns and coach them through.

This is not a comfortable spot for me. I do not like the ongoing battle and the seclusion I feel with being a special needs mom. I don’t like the isolation when I sit in a hospital room full of doctors and nurses and feeling entirely alone. I do not like imobilizing and restraining my defenseless son down to give him an IV. I don’t like being dismissed when I say no blood pressure cuff it’s too much for him. I do not like feeling vulnerable. I loath watching his help me eyes and knowing there’s nothing I could do to take the pain away. BUT I will continue to encourage him in this fight because that is what a Second is for.

The one thing that being a trainer has taught me is you cannot teach clients to push themselves beyond their barriers if you yourself will not push your own barriers.

Clients need to know that as a person I am far from flawless. My children need to know I am not error free. However, I will never teach anyone to give up. There is one thing I strongly believe, we must focus on improving daily and not being perfect. Perfection is an unachievable desire.

But because we have potential to always improve we have potential to grow. Growth can be a painful process. Growth can be terrifying. There may be days where it feels impossible, but don’t give failure a chance.

You gained instead of loosing?

OK let’s reaccess

You ate cake on your friend’s wedding day?

That’s great you enjoyed the moment. Move on

You couldn’t squat as heavy as you wanted?

That’s fantastic now you have another measurable goal to work to.

It is impossible to move forward if you are looking back.

As a person I am consistently getting knocked down, getting slammed against the ropes, but I am relentless.

My goal is to teach my clients that same recoil. To coach them through those mental and physical battles. The moments they feel like they are weak and cannot recover. We can come off those ropes. We can get back up again and again. The one thing we cannot do is surrender.

5 Reasons Overwhelmed Moms Don’t Ask for Help

Why don’t you ask for Help? Why didn’t you call me? You should have called me! Sound familar? These are all well known lines that I have heard more times than I’d like to count. Everyone wants to know why I won’t ask for help. Every single mom I have spoke with recently has said that they struggle with asking for help just as much as I do. Why is that? Why do we continue to struggle after we are told to reach out?

  1. We don’t want to be let down.

Let’s be honest, you have offered to help someone or said “call if you need anything” The moment that phone rings and help is requested

we can’t provide the assitance needed. Being a mom I have been there. I have asked for help and been shut down. This makes me nervous to ask for help. I don’t want to be let down by those who have. offered help.

2. Embarrassed!

Society has this man shaming trend. Everyone is a better parent than everyone else.

“What was he doing awake by himself? He doesnt wake you up first?”

“NO Suzy, I let my three year old Run rampid every day of the week and he has to fend for himself.”

Maybe if we stop judging or being condescending to every mom who has a bad day or a parenting mishap there would be more of us who ASK for help.

3. Fear.

This is a big one for me and some people may call me crazy for Feeling this way, however it is 100% Valid! Look at our news headlines now days! I am terrified that others will not accept or understand my children.I am so scared they will not understand or love my Special

special needs son the way our family does and that terrifies me.

4. Guilt.

I hare felt guilty in so many ways. Guilty for leaving my kids behind. Guilty for in convincing some one. Guilty for not being

able to handle it all. Guilty for being tired. We just feel guilty.

5. Weak.

There are many times I have locked myself in my bathroom and cried because I did not want to be seen as weak. When people look at me I don’t want them to think that I wasn’t strong enough to be a mom.

These are very real reasons why we don’t call you. These are the driving force behind our lonely struggles. If you see an

overwhelmed mom and her struggle don’t wait for her to ask for your help, because she never will. When you see that struggle say

“let me help you, what do you need, how can I help you during this time.”

Because you’ll never hear “I need help”

Hey There Mr. Tin Man

Everyone knows I adore Miranda Lambert. My husband bought me my very first concert tickets to see her perform during Cheyenne Frontier days. He didn’t know it
in March when he bought the tickets, the concert would be during a very difficult time in our life and it would be a saving grace for me.

Mr. Tin Man is one of her Number one hits and it speaks volumes to me, but not for the same reason it speaks to most. My husband didn’t cheat on me, I wasn’t going through a breakup, nope I am a special Needs mama to a son with an extremely rare genetic mutation.

There are only 386 Children that we know of that have SynGap1. Raylan has uncontrolled epilepsy, severe developmental delays, hypotonia (low muscle tone)

Raylan has had many hospital stays, including a multi-day stay prior to the Miranda Lambert concert. During the week prior to seeing Miranda in concert I watched my son in pain and every day.

He was cooped up in a hospital for 4 days. A team of nurses plus me held him down every morning for needle pokes so he could have his blood drawn. I watched him struggle to eat and drink for 7 days and still continuing to have seizures.

By time Miranda lambert’s concert night came, I was burnt out. I was tired of watching my baby struggle and be completely helpless. I wanted to take his pain away. The moment she began to sing Tin Man tears streamed down my cheeks, because every bit of emotion I had experienced the past week was right there in that moment.

Mr. Tin man is such an amazing song and to hear it live during one of the most difficult times as a mother I had ever experienced meant the world to me.

“Hey there Mr. Tin man.

You don’t know how lucky you are

you shouldn’t spend your Whole life

wish ring for something bound to fall apart

Every time you’re feeling empty

Belter thank your lucky stars

If you ever-felt one breaking

You’d never want a heart.”

Mr. Tin Man I’d have to Agree with Miranda. In all my years I have had plenty of sadness and pain, but trust me

If you ever felt the pain of restraining your child so the doctors can help them you would Never want a heart.

Mr. Tin-man if you ever looked into your child’s eyes and saw pain you couldn’t take away, you’d never want a heart.

Mr. Tin man if you ever felt the pain I feel as

a mother every time my child was crying you’d

never want a heart.

Mr. Tin man if you ever felt the pain that goes with a parents watching their child suffer you’d never want a heart. It would shatter in pieces

As a parent the heartbreak I feel for my children is the worst heartbreak I can ever imagine multiplied by the hundreds.

As Miranda says. You’d better count your lucky stars. I’ll take your Armor and can have my heart.